Is there a word

is there a word to describe the fear of not knowing what happiness is? Or the uncertainty felt when faced with the big decisions in life, like who is worthy to receive your love or does that person know what love is? Because these are things I never learned as a child and they have throughly haunted my decisions and my ignorance has led me down some long dark roads. If only, how I dislike those two words, I had been taught to trust my gut instincts in home and school… Although I tell myself over and over that my life is as it should be, whether by design or my own unique fate, there are things I would have done differently so that I had learned to shine sooner rather than struggle daily to find my light.

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